The Twenty Ninth of July, Two Thousand and Eleven (part 1, not sure why the pics are so small)

I went out to do some shopping for our vacation that starts on Sunday on my lunch break today. Found this. While I don't need this at all, because I already have a healthy supply of Solo cups and ping-pong balls, I challenge you to guess where this was an appropriate item...

wrong! Sports Authority. I went there to get binoculars, and was stunned to suddenly realize that apparently every Saturday night for the last 20 years or so, while drinking myself into a blackout, I've actually been a real, live athlete!! Olympic gold here I come.

my backup sport...Washers! that's right, it now officially qualifies as a sport, you know, because it's sold in a sports store.

and in case I'm bored in Olympic Village, I can start an international scandal by shooting these ridiculously real looking guns at the Canadians for fun.

seriously, though, if they really cared about making pellet guns truly safe, wouldn't they make the ENTIRE THING out of bright orange plastic instead of just the tip?

And this is the reason that Borders is going out of business. To fuck with crying that the Kindle and Amazon and audio books killed them. They're on blowout mode, right? So I go to get the new Death Cab For Cutie album, and I know it's gonna be expensive, but I figure it'll be on sale. Well, my entire life, I've never, ever, ever paid $18.99 for a CD. But good news, after tax and the huge 30% discount, my cost is only a mere 15 bucks, a price I have also never paid for a regular CD!

Well, maybe it's not all that bad. I mean, there's gotta be a few deals, so I looked for other albums I want, but don't need immediately, like this Owl City CD, hilariously overpriced and still ridiculous.

"yeah," I said to myself, "but they're still relatively new. What about something I want that's a few months old?" Guess what...same shit. But then, I'm thinking..."yeah, but surely they MUST have a older gems on these racks for dirt cheap..."

DEAD WRONG! One of my favorite albums of all time, ...And Justice For All, the last truly respectable Metallica album is still WAY overpriced at a ghastly $18.99. This album came out in 1989!! You've gotta' be kidding me, Borders.

but it wasn't all bad. I found a pretty good deal on this new game called "Dungeons and Dragons." Seems to be some sort of so-called "role-playing" game. With the whole Harry Potter thing going on, it has a chance of really catching on. Maybe one day it'll be as big as "Magic: The Gathering."

And I found this gem for only a mere $1.99. "Chicken Soup for the American Idol Soul." Becuase who doesn't want life lessons from Paula Abdul, Ruben Studdard and....Clay Aiken?

and for a mere $5.99, you too can have your name added to an FBI list of suspected criminals!! What a bargain...thanks Borders!!


One Response to “The Twenty Ninth of July, Two Thousand and Eleven (part 1, not sure why the pics are so small)”

  1. Winning!

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