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Archive for the Reflections Category
Compound(ed) Storm
Posted in Daily Pictures, Reflections on January 22, 2014 by Verge
In life, most times, you really don’t get a forecast of what’s about to hit you. And there’s no prediction of how bad it will be, or how long it will last. And digging out of the unexpected, and making things passable again, can take a long time. But, you’ll always clear the lot, and get back to the way things were before the storm arrived. And then you can finally sit down, totally worn out from the journey, relax, and have a martini.
Time Changes Everything
Posted in Reflections with tags change on January 19, 2014 by Verge
People like to say, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. But I disagree.
The people I care about are many. Some of them I know are having the time of their lives right now. Their new baby has changed the way they are, and also, literally, physically look to me. I’ve never seen them so happy. It only makes me care for them more.
Another friend is on the verge of her divorce, sometimes hoping things will get resolved and love will find a way, and sometimes packing bags to go away forever.
I have friends who are hoping for the best, or fearing the worst, yearning for something better, or feeling things couldn’t be better. And I’ve felt all those emotions at some points in my life as well.
There are good times and bad time in our past, and in all of our futures. I’m hopeful that we get to help each other together through the bad times, and enjoy each other during the good ones, right now, in the present.
Suffering is the pain of expecting things will last last forever. Both the good things and the bad. We can’t predict the future, and we don’t always know the right path to take. It’s not a bad thing to want for the best outcome, and I always do, because hope is not a four letter word.
But time changes everything…and it’s always for the better… eventually.
Night Writer
Posted in Daily Pictures, Reflections on January 18, 2014 by Verge
nothing special. Just a drab shot of my everyday.
secondary compound.
When it started to rain and snow, I was so glad I bought waterproof shoes. It’s nice to be prepared for bad weather when you know it might arrive.
driving around the complex
the abandoned Xanadu
Closer shot of Xanadu
Driving around the stadium to literally find our other complexes.
long shot of Manhattan and Empire State Building
close shot of Liberty 1
this is a before shot of one of our trailers.
and this is a resverse shot. Tomorrow it will look different. A lot. So, when people ask, you’ll know what I’ve been doing.
Had my desk set up today. I have a brand new Think Pad and quick internet connection. Kick ass.
Finally, after a 13 hours today, I finally find a craft brew.
I’ve always been a late night writer. I’m often too busy during the day, and it’s not until after most loose ends are finally tied up, that I can finally relax. And, much like dreaming, it’s when I can finally process the day, choose to keep the memories that I want, and allow the insignificant tangles to wash away.
And, as the waves recede back into the sea, there are always stellar remains on the beach of our lives that are worth collecting, and keeping. They are always insignificant to others. Like a shell collection, that is trash to most, but sacred to yourself
Perhaps that’s why I have trouble sleeping most nights. I’m not sure dreams complete the process for me. Writing is what helps me tease out what’s important in life. And I’m pretty sure that’s why I’ve been having lucid dreams lately. Even asleep, I’m trying to wake up.
When the things we keep are simple pictures of the snow, in A January Winter in New Jersey, they mean something to me, though they might like appear to be pictures that are snapshots of the mundane nothingness.
Traveling and Being Away…
Posted in Daily Pictures, Reflections on January 16, 2014 by Verge
The view from my hotel. MetLife Stadium on the left.
Outside our broadcast compound. Day one.
Inside our compound.
Another beautiful day in New Jersey.
this is the small pile of books I may or may not read while I’m away.
Here I am. In beautiful New Jersey. Grey skies, parking lots, stale hotel rooms, and free internet service. And the stars all seem to weep. There’s never any time to sleep. So little time, but miss everyone so much.
Pendulums Swing; Weights Fall; Time Runs Out
Posted in Reflections with tags clocks, nfl films, Steampunk on January 15, 2014 by Verge
This week I’ve been preparing the best I can to go away for a while. I’ve never been gone this long before. The people that mean the most to me will have to live without me, and realize that they can.
Not everyone gets a chance to prepare for missing home, or being alone, or losing someone you love. I get that luxury that many people in life don’t get. The comfort of knowing I’ll be missed while I’m gone, and that others hope I’ll be back soon.
Some of us never know the warmth of being loved, or suddenly find that what we thought was love was just an empty hollow hunger. No one should ever have to feel that way. It’s inhuman to do that to a person.
But time still ticks, in my head, in my home, in my life. In everyone’s life. And time will always tell. It will tell what’s true, what’s right and wrong, and what are just words and what is reality.
So I stay true to the things I knew when I was younger. That the emotions I feel I will never apologize for. That I should do to others what I deserve of myself. That I should admit when I’ve done someone wrong, and fight for what I think is right. That I know I’m not perfect, but no one is, and when we accept that as people, we can finally move on together. That accepting change in life is something to embrace, and not fight, because allowing ourselves to clutch to the past only causes pain.
Time unfeelingly marches forward. In time, feeling empathy for one another moves us all forward together.
Is it weird that my concern is which of the clocks I wind in life will be stopped when I come home?
The Cycle of Seasons and My Life
Posted in Reflections with tags Christmas, Hiking, holidays, Piney on December 18, 2013 by VergeHalf a year. What a difference. We end Summer in anticipation of harvest. It’s time to relax, time to enjoy what we have, time to enjoy family and friends. Because others don’t have nearly the life we get to enjoy. Others don’t even get to laugh, to smile, to be together. Often, we take it for granted.
And Autumn sets in. It’s odd we have such a reverence for the beauty of dying. But we all know things end. Leaves fall. Life dies. We learn to relish the beauty of inevitable end.
As things get colder, things sometimes seem stranger. Unusual and unexpected things can happen in the dark. Things you never even knew were possible. And sometimes they can scare the shit out of you. It’s odd that I’m afraid of the dark. Always have been. Ever since I can remember. And even more ironic that I now work in a pitch black dark room for a living, alone, isolated with my thoughts of what might take hold of me.
sometimes it can really freak me out. I know the movies I watched when I was younger were just entertainment. All fun and games, right? It’s not really happening. But for some reason, I took things too seriously. I believed those things might happen. Something or someone might grab my ankle as I lay in bed one night. And that would absolutely give me an immediate heart attack.
So I try to remind myself it’s all an act, it’s all for entertainment. People get hurt, but at the end of the story, everyone gets up unfazed. Everything is still fine. No one really gets hurt. And we get to do it all over again next weekend. Next movie in my life.
The end of Autumn comes and permanent changes set it. The cold inevitably arises. But there are always traditions that make us all feel warm. Like a family. That always makes loneliness feel fleeting. We’re all together…and happy. So nothing could harm us anymore. So, together, we look forward to the holidays, the new year, and amazing memories that have yet to be made with each other.
And things are warm. But winter storms arrive. Things shut down. We end up stuck at home, isolated from the world. We don’t even want to go out into the frozen world outside. It’s just easier to stay in bed all day. Alone, in the dark. That’s where it’s safe. We can ignore the outside world, the reality of bad weather.
But I don’t ever believe that Spring isn’t coming. It will always be warm again. Storms come and go, but the seasons never end. You can’t turn back time. There are no U-turns. Instead, you move ahead, convinced that Winter will only last so long, that things will be brought back to life and are only temporarily frozen. More memories will be made. More pictures will be taken. More blogs will be written (cause that’s what makes me feel normal). More good times to remember together. I have to convince myself that we should never be afraid of the dark. I have faith that there will always be light after darkness. Such brightness.
Fourth Wedding Anniversary – Valley Green Inn – May 17th, 2013
Posted in Friends and Family, Good Times, Reflections on August 9, 2013 by VergeSo, I’m a little bit behind, and I wanted to write a great, from the heart, amazingly tear-jerking blog about our anniversary. Truth is, that I just don’t have the time right now to express how wonderful it is to celebrate my life together with Monika over these past four years. So, here’s some pictures of our annual excursion to Valley Green Inn. Not exactly where it all began, but, where we and 70 or so of our friends declared it was officially a love story.
The Fourth of December, Two Thousand and Twelve
Posted in Reflections on December 5, 2012 by VergeWoke up on the couch with Monika at 4 am. Went to bed, but felt like hell. Still fighting a sickness I caught over Black Friday weekend at the mart, as best I can tell. The cats came to bed as well; We’re pretty sure they know when we don’t feel well. I barely made it to work, and only really went in so Sam didn’t have to work in the vault alone today. Glad I did, we got treated by Mike to Holiday lunch, an event I don’t like to miss. We don’t always get to celebrate our fragile commoradore. When I got home, a Benadryl later, I passed out and woke two hours later in a coughing fit. Longest I’ve been sick, in Monika’s words, since I’ve known her. Cats are circling the Christmas tree. I, awake, drain my DVR or anything intelligent.
On The Verge of Tears 